I have been working like crazy! I stated my online Grad courses for NAU today, sadly my text book is late and I have an assignment to do! EEEP! I go to see my brother graduate UC San Diego next week, I go camping at the end of the month and I have like 10 grad level projects to do by the end of the month pluse working like 50 hours a week. Sigh. i hope I can make it. I will most likely be using this page as my home page for classes again. So you can all see what I am working on. Hope it doesn't bore you too much.

TTFN

Well I took 5 days to go to my mom's wedding, I was sick before and after but it still rocked! Not a dry eye in the house everyone was so happy. I so need to post my pictures.

Well I came back to work and eeeep! Things were a mess. My friend sarah was transfered to another house. the schedule had changed and my med room was a mess! Needless to say I had to work my tail off to get everything back to working order but yesterday rocked! It worked out with all the kids, I had training time with friends and I finally started to get recognized for all my hard work. Woot! Still the day before that I almost had a melt down but in the end I survived. I will keep ya all posted.

Been working abouit 70hours a week. Going to be in my mom's wedding this weekend which means I am working 7 days straight. XP

My abnormal psych class is a joke. Group therapy for the class is a joke, but i do like the textbook since it helps inform me about the kids I work with.

Jess's family is in town which is great!

That is it right now
Oh and I am going to england for a week next year! Woot!

Well I did register for one class at Pima. Abnormal Psych.
It is tues and thrus from 1-3pm. I am taking it with Sarah, Paula, and Brian. Woot! We will take over the class. Mwhahaha!

I work my same hours F, Sat, Sun, Mon, 8am-9pm (if I am lucky!) I have a meeting for work thrus from 10am-12noon.

It is gonna be a busy semester but I am excited!

For those of you not familiar with Wisdom of the Body (aka wizbod) I have been reviewing a bit and realized how revealing this methodology of self discovery/diagnoisis was for my own life and the lives of others. If you are interested please read on. I wrote this for a particular friend who is dealing with a very scary illness and the insights offered by this illness come after the explanation. At the very least I hope she and the thre other friends involved in the current struggle read on!

The basic structure of Wizbod is that mind/body/spirit are never serparated except in language, there for because they are one and have always been one in your life, your body reveals excatly what you have been believing/attituding/emotioning/wording/feeling/living in your life. Your body is not just a body it is a Spiritually Mindful Body in which your mind and spirit and body exist and interact simultaneously as a oneness for that is what they are.

To end your repetitive non-advancing struggle to understand yourself and life and well being, through duality, judgments, and "causes", it is necessary to borrow a page from physics which properly shows us that "for every action, there is a simultaneous equal and opposite reaction". While the "causes" of actions have always been assumed but never revealed, this universal truth of simultaneous action/reaction is always revealed and has NEVER been disproved. Under these conditions, which are you willing to accept and live: the assumption of and endless struggle with unrevealed "causes" ...or the truth and oneness of simultaneous actions/reactions?

Since you have chosen to accept that "for every action, there is a simultaneous equal and opposite reaction", we now ask, " which is the action and which is the reaction?" Most people reply that the one that occurred first is the action... while the other, the consequence, the one affected, is the reaction. But, since the action/reaction is truly simultaneous, as a whole event, there is no cause and separate effect, ...they are one. What science has always done is observe a "presumed effect" ...then searched backward for an "assumed cause".

Now, this truth of simultaneous action/reaction is important, because, for centuries physicans have been searching for the "causes" of disease, so they can provide cures, ...but now it is revealed that the "cause" and illness are one,... or, more apporopriately, the individual/illness is one. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THE INDIVIDUAL "CAUSES" HIS OR HER OWN DISEASE, nor does it mean that a person's way of life, attitudes, emotions, or thoughts "cause" the disease, ... BUT THAT THE SYMPTOMS REVEAL, as in the oneness of action/reaction, THE SELF AND LIFE THE INDIVIDUAL IS LIVING!

For example, as you step in front of a mirror and bring your image with you, the mirror reveals that, ... and when you take your image away, the mirror stops revealing you. In this situation you did not "cause" the image, simply because the mirror imaged before you arrived ...and continued imaging after you left. Disease is much like the mirror: it provides an image of the self and life you are living.

In other words, in the Wizbod Descriptionary, your symptoms are the outpicturings and the inner-lifeself you are living and the inpicturings. And, like action/reaction, the outpicturing/inpicturing are simultaneously one: you are "not causing" your symptoms or disease, ... you are symptoming and diseasing,... you ARE your symptoms and disease. Now, don't be distrubed by that, we are not accusing you of "causing" your symptoms or disease, but without you, your pains and symptoms no longer exist, and neither do your illnesses.

It is important to realize that by being your symptoms and diseases you are fully empowered to change your self and life and in that change or heal the outpicturings, for illness and disease are never healed or cured by medication, manipulations, treatments, or surgery. These medical tools merely offer a temporary relief of symptoms, so you can devote the fineness and wholeness of your mind/body/soul to change the self and life you are living and inpicturing.

When you outpicture symptoms or a disease, you are diseasing, you are forming, sensing, and living a life of complaints, burdens, afflictions, improperness, and suffering: and you are creating a struggle between how you beleive and want things to be and how you sense matters to be, and between the beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, words, and actions you feel you are living and offering adn those you are actually embodying and putting forth. You are senseing and understanding through judgments and dysaccord and living these inner-conflicts which simultaneously embody as disease, pain, and injury. Your inner-conflicts and outer-symptoms indicate that you are doing what you want to do, but believe you should or ought to do something else, or are you doing what you don't want and believe you have no other choice or can't do other; in any case you are living the painful conflict, struggle and way of dysaccord.

To change or "heal", you must, first, know exactly what you are outpicturing and living, so you can truly choose anew; or, of course, you can decide to continue living your self and life "as usual", and you certainly know what that is like, don't you? It is the embodied outpicturings of illness and symptoms you are living and struggling against. Obviously, to change or permanently "heal", you must live a different self and life; but unfortunately, most people create a different lifestyle, get different jobs, involve themselves in different activities and relationships, move to different cities, follow different beliefs, etc. and believe that through all of this, that they are living a different self and life and wonder why, with all of these changes, little or nothing in their body and life has changed.

The answer to this dilemma lies in understanding the difference between "different" and "differnetly". To live a different lifeself means to live other than what you were living before, while living differently mean to live the same lifeself but in a different way. Unfortunately, most people do different things and believe they are different, when actually they are living the same self adn life "differently", so little or nothing changes and the outpicturing symptoms remain much as before, because all the medical efforts must struggle against your self and life "as usual".

Or medical treatments do, temporarily, relieve your symptoms and illnesses, as you continue living your old self and life differently, your old symptoms and illnesses will return, or new, similar outpicturings will appear. For example. if your physician "cures" your outpicturings symptions of viral pneumonia and you continue living your self and life "as usual" it is likely that you will begin struggling with bronchitis or asthma or emphysema, as outpicturings of slightly different, but essentially the same, attitudinal conflicts.

Helping you know and understand the particulars of such outpicturings/inpicturings is the purpose of WIZBOD, so as your physican is relieving the symptoms, discomforts, and dangers of your illness, you can assist and uphold this "healing" by genuninely living a differnt self and life, the life self you truly desire.

That said...

I have a friend who has just been diagonesed with the pre-cancerous condition of Cervical Cancer. That said I looked up in my Wizbod descriptionary what this revealed about the self and life she was living and what images she was holding in opposition and struggling to maintain.

The descriptionary had this to say about CERVICAL CANCER:

Cervical Cancering: Long-standing, unwholesome and injurious beliefs out of control concerning the opening or doorway between her sacred inner place of creation and development and her great feeling leading to your outer lifeself of femininity.

Anyone who knows her, knows that that definition hit the nail on the head. Since she may be reading this post, ( I do hope she is) here is a list of questions to help get to the root of these beliefs and reveal the self you are living. Consider the past conversations as well and why most of your relationships (intercourse) with individuals you care for might also be in struggle.

Is your outer and inner sense of femininity, creation, and development in conflict? Do you maintain a separation between the two?
Are you fearful of your sexuality?
Is your life, are your thoughts, too carnal and fleshy?
Have you been unchaste?...immoral?
Do you feel unwholesomely erotic and passionate?
Are you accepting of and open to your feminine role in the creation and development of yourself and new forms of your self and life?
Do you shut others out?
Remember, when you close others out, you close yourself in, is that what you want?
Are you too accepting?...to closed off?
In what ways do you feel violated?
Are others infringing upon you?...trespassing?...without regard to your rights and desires? Are they trampling on your feelings? ...encroaching too near?
Do you feel abused?...dishonored?
Have you been ravished? ...defiled? Has someone dishonored you?
Do you feel outraged?...resentful?
Are you only willing to admit those who fully honor and respect you?...those who will protect, defend, and uphold you?
Do you find it difficult to protect yourself from those who would violate your inner creation and development?
Do you feel closed off from much of what you desire?
Have you shut yourself off from others?
Are you afraid of intimacey?
Do you close off your feelings?
Do you disassociate your inner feminine life self from the outer world?
Have you blocked your openings between your inner and outer worlds of feminine creativity and development?
Which are you protecting?...discarding? Are you unwilling to bring these together?
Is your feminine creativity and development stopped up?
Are you too vigiliant?...too lax?
Are you keeping yourself cloistered?
Have you been overly protective and withdrawn?
How has this small confinement kept you detached, secretive, and isolated?
Your intimate contracts with others should be based on principles...not on personalities. Have you gone through life missing much of the joy and beauty and goodness constantly offered to you?
End every sense of fear and self-defensiveness and let goodness and inspiration be your guide.

For those of you who are aware of the situation since last November, these questions pretty much hit the problem dead to rights. I hope this helps and that we can move on to a friendship in which aiding one another to live the life we truly desire is possible. Principles not personality are the key, and these are just a few of the ones I stick to. Hope this article helped.

Thanks again to Connie, Roger, and Misty. You remind me why it is so important to help.

Halloween is just around the corner but I was looking for something a little more meaningful in dealing with certain people and I found these articles. Hope everyone enjoys them as much as I did they are very insightful.

Article 125: Vampire Moments - part 1 by Cotting and Mistler
Since Halloween is almost here, it
seemed appropriate to discuss vampire moments. Have you ever experienced an event or situation which seemed to suck the life out of you? …to dry you up? …to rob you of vitality? Have you ever been in a crisis …fully sustained by adrenaline …and flying high, filled with energy and vitality? …only to discover, soon after the crises, that you felt completely drained, fatigued, and without enough energy to continue? If so, that was a VAMPIRE MOMENT simply because it sucked your emotional energy out of you. You probably have little vampire moments every day without realizing it, …and these little vampire moments suck the life out of your life …just as certainly and surely as big vampire moments do.

Do you stress yourself driving to and from work each day? …or while
at work? Those are little vampire moments! Do you get upset waiting in
line, disturbed by ineffective cashiers, anxious about your job, annoyed by
neighbors, angry at governmental policies, or concerned about the effect of
large corporations or the environment? These are all little vampire
moments, …self-created and self-imposed vampire moments. Do you get
upset at others expectations of you? …or their criticism about how well you
met those expectations? Are you frequently bothered by others’ actions?
…or inactions/ Do worries and concerns seem to pester you? Do things
about your partner and friends bother you? …exasperate you? Do others’
accusations and disapproval irritate you? Are you constantly creating such
dramas in your life? …maybe to bring a little excitement to an otherwise
“ordinary” existence? If so, you are sucking the life out of your own life. You
are the vampire in your own life. And though you don’t realize it, such
actions suck life-giving emotions out of you.

It seems impossible to consider any aspect of your self and life
without coming back to the subject of life-giving or life-draining emotions
which circulate throughout and drive every aspect of your embodied lifeself.
By looking into your emotional life, it is possible to see and understand
what impulses you to action, know the empowerment behind those actions,
and realize the judgments involved in every situation.
Since you alone determine the meaning and significance of each
emotion, it is impossible to declare that what others consider to be joyful
emotions will invigorate you …and sorrowful or painful emotions will burden
you; that satisfying emotions enrich and vitalize … while unsatisfying
emotions weaken and drain you. It is impossible even to say that
confidence, courage, and cheerfulness strengthen, enrich, and empower
you …while other attitudes and emotions weaken and diminish you
…simply because what stimulates one person may depress others. In other
words, it is impossible even to determine a stimulating, life-giving emotion
from one that depresses and drains. Fear can either excite or drain you.
It is equally impossible to say that pleasant emotions bind
together…while painful emotions tend to separate, ..for people are
frequently bound together more strongly and firmly through their
undesirable, even painful emotions than through pleasing emotions.
People, it seems, are intensely impulsed and more-strongly enriched by
what they are against than by what they are for. Fear and anger tend to
bind and strengthen more-securely than joy and contentment. People are
easily united to oppose someone or something …and are seldom united in
what they are for. Now you may not understand this yet, but depressing
emotions do not create fatigue, unwellness, or separation, …and no
amount of joy will ever create vitality, wellbeing, or togetherness.
You can read all you want about invigorating/devitalizing emotions
and still not understand yourself or your emotions, simply because what
invigorates you may devitalize another, …and though your mindful body
and life seemingly responds in consistent ways to pleasing/painful
emotions, you cannot, necessarily, predict, with any degree of certainty,
what will pleasure one person …or pain another. And, in this light, it is
appropriate to declare that there are no stimulating invigorating emotions
as opposed to those that are undesirable and burdensome …or even
painful and distressing.

While your mind and body exist and function in oneness as a mindful
body, your emotions fully interpenetrate this mindful body as a medium of
communication and coordination. In fact, your emotions are the oneness of
your mind and body and life~your mindfully embodied lifeself~for you never
live the events, achievements, or attainments in your life, you live the
oneness of how you feel about those things. As all separate visible “things”
appear in space~in a spacetime medium~which actually binds them
together in oneness, all separate invisible things in your life occur in and
express through your emotions~as an emotiontime medium~which binds
them securely together in oneness with all visible things.
Events and things do not create emotions to advise you, emotions
merely convey and outpicture your “judgments” of events/experiences/self
…and securely bind them and maintain them in an even greater oneness.
Emotions are the medium of existence, communication, and understanding
…not the subject of what is communicated; therefore, blaming your
emotions when you feel depressed is as foolish as blaming the space
between things for causing something you do not like, or blaming your
telephone because you are upset about what others say to you on the
phone. And it is just as foolish to rail against and try to control or medicate
your depressing emotions as it is to cut the telephone line because you are
depressed about what you hear. In either case, the problem, if one exists,
is in what is said, not in the medium of communication. Of course you can
medicate yourself or cut the phone line …but, in this, nothing of real
substance has changed or been resolved, …has it?
Whether it is a telephone call or your emotions, you must deal with
your judgments, …but, as in our illustration of being depressed, you can
excuse yourself by declaring that you are too depressed to truly consider
your depression.

Keep your garlic handy …at least until this vampire article concludes
next week.

Article 126: Vampire Moments - part 2 by Cotting and Mistler
Read our previous article before continuing, …and keep your
protective garlic handy …just in case! In fact, if you tend to create vampire
moments in your life, maybe you should carry a garlic clove in your purse,
backpack, or pocket. And remember, larger cloves are less powerful than
the smaller ones …so choose wisely.

Do not deal with or medicate your emotions with assumed remedies
or cures, as you do with your illnesses, unless you are willing to discover
what they are conveying and binding together …for that alone is significant.
If you are, for example, depressed, changing or blocking that emotion
without understanding what that depression is revealing about the lifeself
you are living is like cutting your phone line in the middle of a depressing
conversation, …and covering your depression with happiness, or
sublimating it into cheerfulness or excitement is equally useless
…especially when you consider that all such actions will most certainly
create vampire moments which will suck the life out of your life.
It used to be commonly believed that emotions were born out of
instinct and heredity, that these things were responsible for most emotions
…and there was very little you could do to change your emotional make up
and responses. Then it was taught that your early environment, especially
joyful or stressful events and circumstances, or vampire moments, were
responsible for your primary emotions. Since none of these beliefs or the
treatments they spawned seem very effective, we are suggesting that your
judgments~in this life and in previous lifetimes~of your self-created events,
circumstances, and individuals are primarily responsible for the contents of
your emotions …and their enriching or destructive effect or nature in your
self and life. Ohh, certainly, instinct, heredity, and environment all play
active roles in your emotions …and their content, but you chose and
created those things for yourself through judgments …and it is those selfchosen
judgments that your emotions are conveying. Do your judgments
seem hereditary and instinctual …and beyond your control? If so, your
body and life will be constantly filled with vampire moments …seemingly
beyond your control.

In other words, as emotions interpenetrate and bind together every
aspect of your mindful body and life, your judgments, being conveyed by
your emotions, interpenetrate every aspect of your lifeself as well, …and
medicating emotions or judgments to relieve your problems …or covering
one emotion or judgment with a vampire moment is like taking an aspirin
for a painful affliction …and letting the disease rage on within you, …does
that make any sense to you? Are you struggling to control your vampire
emotions, such as anger, depression, anxiety, need for protection, or
unhappiness, while leaving your judgments to rage or within you?

Emotions being different for every person indicates that everyone has
created a unique emotional-language to bind all things together in an
understandable oneness of self. This is not the language of emotions, it is
the language of judgments within emotions. After all, can you really tell
whether someone’s anger speaks of pleasure or pain? …of courage or lack
of confidence? …of assurance or fear? Does anger talk about self-reliance
or dependency? …fulfillment or lack? …enrichment or loss? If others’ anger
reveals their not getting what they want, do you really know, from the
anger, what that is? And from your own anger or unhappiness, do you
know what you truly desire …and judge you have not gotten? Dealing with
or relieving your anger or unhappiness, like stopping a conversation, will
keep you uninformed about the judgments that are the content of your
emotions.

As a child, did you cover your ears and throw a tantrum~maybe just a
little tantrum~when you didn’t want to hear what was being said? …maybe
that you couldn’t go out and play? Well, medicating your emotions or
creating vampire moments to conceal them with excitement is your way of
covering your ears and throwing a tantrum today.
Have you learned enough about your “inner-self” to vaguely see and
partially understand how you express your beliefs and ideas …and your
judgments? Your inner-self, completely immersed in and interpenetrated by
emotions which convey your judgments, accurately empowers every aspect
of your lifeself as you direct …and clearly reveals, in your emotions, the self
and life you desire …and what you are judging, creating, and living.
And if what you are creating and judging and speaking about in your
emotions is, for you, desirable and fulfilling, you are an angel in your own
life, …but, if those things are undesirable …and you are creating
excitement and drama to overcome other feelings and judgments, you are
the vampire creating vampire moments in your embodied lifeself. It is not
that you desire the excitement and drama …so much as it is that you do
not desire an ordinary self and life …and you seem willing to do almost
anything, even living with constant anger, distress, anxiety, irritation,
dissatisfaction, and other drama-like emotions than ever being ordinary in
your eyes, judgments, and emotions …even if that sucks the very life out of
your life. It seems that you have not learned that living the self and life you
truly desire through self-evidenting is the most emotionally uplifting,
enriching, and sustaining lifeself you can live …without the drain of
judgments.

You alone are the vampire creating vampire moments in your body
and life~and all illnesses are vampire moments sucking the life out of your
life~are your moments of excitement and drama worth the loss of your
most desirable, self-sustaining, ever-expanding life? As you can only kill a
vampire by driving a stake through its heart, to live the immortal life you
truly desire, and without creating undesirable emotions and vampire
moments, you might have to drive a stake through the heart of your
judgments.

Sigh, very tired, heading to work but it at least is my friday.
Tomorrow - Ikea, Pima College, sleep???, Wench night and Rock Band
Wed - sleep???
THurs.- no clue
I am so burnt right now, maybe I will better soon when I get some energry drinks.

Yawn,

Well I'm back from a wonderful trip to Sedona. I just love it up there. I get to relax, and get away from all my stress. Which if you read Kagari-chan's LJ we are pretty much in the same boat. I love working with the kids, I really had no clue until I started. I love making a difference in their lives and showing the kids new ways about going about things in life. Sometimes it works out and some times it blows up in my face but I am never bored that is for sure. I am however working like 60-78 hours a week and that leaves little time for my sweetie or myself. Sedona really helped with all that stress.

Basicially my boss, who is 23, I'm 29 btw, has a lot of growing up to do. As Jess puts it, she hasn't mastered the carrot and stick mentality. Basically she threatens when she should rewards and rewards when she should stand her ground. That and Sarah basically runs the house, and I pick up the slack. Hell who knows, if they yank sarah out of the house I will be running things. Sigh.
I have never worked a job where I didn't hit the ground running. The price of competence right?
I love working with my friends however that and the kids make this job worth it.

My muse kicked in big time which makes me happy. I ready like 8 books including Breaking Dawn while I was away. My plan for tonight is to transcribe all my notes for my novel onto the PC. But since I was gone i figured I had to check my LJ and web stuff first.

Whit - FYI no clue when your B-day was exactly, my bad, so happy belated b-day. My phone and email still work just fine btw. Which number are you using? I don't have your house number and I know you have mine.

Terry - how's it going. Can I stop by for a tarot reading sometime soon? Hope things are going well for justin.

Stephen - snail mail is enroute. Miss you and guess what? Sarah, Crystal and I held Japanese night for the kids. I got out yukata's had them learn simple kanji, taught them some simple phrases like good morning and introduced them to ramune. Crystal made tempura and crab puffs. I made sushi, ramen, miso soup, and mochii. The kids loved it. We watch anime and read manga too. I almost got them to do caligraphy with rice paper and paint brushes but we ran out of time. Man the kids were quizzing me big time on my JPN and i had no clue how much I had lost since I got out of school and it has only been 3 months! Eep. Needless to say Crystal wants to practice with me.

Sarah = hope the house didn't fall to peices while I was away. See ya tomorrow. Or I might call ya tonight. XD

Well that is it for now. Gonna call Paula and then hit the key board. My muse calls and I am soo happy.

Well I have been working anywhere from 78 hours to 60 hours a week. The money is good but I am a bit wiped out. The Dark Knight was awesome! Went to see it last night and today is my only day off this week so I am relaxing at home.
As busy as I have been at work I find that I love my new job! It is time consuming and takes a lot but I love the challenge of working with these kids. I have so many ideas popping into my head. But finding time to write them down has been the issue.
I am going to Sedona in Aug for some R & R and hope to have my new laptop by then.
Wish me luck. I am off to get my hair done.

Personally I don't believe in hell but I get a kick out of those whose do. Dr. Faustus and Dante's Inferno are highly entertaining thanks for recommending this quiz.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

By Roger B. Cotting and Dr. Diane E. Mistler (copyright 1996)

Since you are reading this booklet, (and have read about OHI Relationships, we assume you are interested in having, preparing yourself for, or expanding your present union to an open, honest, intimate relationship,...therefore, let's see what such a desirable relationship looks like to you.

A. Define openness. What does "being in a deeply personal relationship" mean to you? Why do you want this?







B. Define honesty. What does "being honest in a deeply personal relationship" mean to you? Why do you want this?







C. Define intimacy. What does "being intimate in a deeply personal relationship" mean to you? Why do you want this?







It is not for us to define or describe what an open, honest, intimate relationship is or should be for you, but out of this presentation we expect that you will discover a new concept of relationship available to you. You have nothing to lose by fully participating in our presentation and reconsidering your present beliefs about life, personal-relationships, and communication for when we conclude, you can return to your old beliefs, judgments, relationships, accusative ways, and communication "as usual", ...and you certainly know what that is like,... don't you?

How you truly feel about someone or your relationship tells you nothing about that person or union ... but speaks volumes about you, reveals how you are internally companioned with yourself and indicates the partnership you seem to desire.

1. Are you willing to live openly, honestly, and intimately with someone exactly like you?



2. Do you want you existing or intended partner exactly as he or she is right now? ...without any changes?


3. Is it ever fair to ask another person to do something for you which you are unwilling to do for yourself?


4. What do you expect to gain from an open, honest, intimate relationship? ...and what are you willing to put into this relationship?


5. Do you equate intimacy with vulnerability? In other words, if you were to be genuinely open, honest, and particularly intimate with someone, ...would you, in any way, feel vulnerable to that person?


6. Are your feelings -heartfelt emotions- true and reliable? Can you trust your feelings?


7. Now that you know (from relationship 6) that all feelings are "set" before an event or condition ever occurs, what feeling would you truly like to preset in your life and personal-relationship...and always live? If your answer is, for instance, "love", then describe and discuss love, ...and reveal how you can know the loving thing to do in every situation.


8. If you met God, Christ, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, or another Master and you felt love, ...would you be feeling his love or your own love?


9. Are you willing to forsake the feelings of love in order to be love, offer love, and have all the benefits of love?


10. What are judgments? By judging...are you attempting to discover what is right or good?


11. What is acceptance?


12. If you met God, Christ, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, or another Master, would that individual forgive you?


13. What is forgiveness?


14. If you hurt someone, physically or emotionally, or make a mistake that affects that person, and you are sorry for your actions, is it appropriate to ask them to forgive you?

15. Is criticism of another person ever valid or justified?


16. Do you have free will?


17. Are all opportunities, choices, and decision equal?...or are some greater, better, or finer than others?


18. in your opinion, have you ever been a "victim" to anyone or anything in your life? For instance, has anyone ever made you angry?...caused you unhappiness?...kept you from living and having your desires? Have environmental or genetic conditions ever caused you pains, illnesses, or diseases? Have previous relationships ever made you happy or sad?



19. Is it possible that you create all things in your life, as everyone does, yet no personal creation ever interferes with another's creation? Remember, if you do not create everything in your life, not merely your reactions to events, then you do not have free will...and you are a victim to what occurs, ...do you want to continue living as a victim to life?... and to your personal relationships...or lack of personal relationship?


20. Do you understand that you seldom, if ever, see and know others as they are, but only as you are? Explain.


21. No relationship which you are not always willing to "give up" is ever worth having,...do you understand this?


22. If you cannot be happy in your personal relationship, you will not be happy in any other relationship.



23. What you do in one area of your life you do in every area of your life.



24. Do you understand that being responsible "to" or "for" someone or something is irresponsible? Explain. What is the alternative?


25. What is selfishness? If it is "self-concern", since there is nothing you can do in a relationship, or in life, which is not relative to "self", does this mean that you and all personal relationships are selfish? If not, explain.


26. Do you understand that "the only genuine gift is to give others what you truly want for yourself"? Explain.


27. If you really understand that "you only have what you truly give away," then you understand that "what you have reveals what you have given." Explain.


28. Describe your image of God.


29. Describe your greatest and grandest self image.


30. Describe your present self image.


31. Do you understand that the universe has no meaning or purpose? ...and that your own universe has no meaning or purpose? Why is this so?


32. Explain how "becoming one with God or one with your higherself" keeps you feeling separate from God or your higherself?


33. What is a goal? Contrary to your beliefs and teachings, do you see that "setting goals," as normally pictured and advised, is detrimental to a fully enriching self and life?


34. Assuming that you want happiness in your life and relationships, describe what happiness is to you...what you desire.


35. Happiness is not a goal or relationship you must achieve or attain to, nor is it what you have, ...happiness is the way you live, the way you express and apply yourself, and the way you use all you possess. Explain this.


36. Describe the image you have of the personal relationship you desire. What is the purpose of that relationship?


37. Describe the personal relationship you want to eventually create and live. What is the purpose of this relationship?


38. Describe the ultimate personal relationship you feel is possible. What is the purpose of this relationship?


39. Is it possible that trying to become one with your present personal relationship keeps you forever separate within your personal relationship? ...and will you do the same in the finest personal relationship you desire? Explain. What alternatives do you have?


40. Assuming that you want an open, honest, intimate relationship, ...what is the purpose of this relationship?


41. If you had to choose between a personal relationship with a truly exciting and satisfying sexual partner whose other interests seem different than yours, ...or one with a good friend with genuinely compatible interests, activities, and forms of expression, but you did not find that person sexually arousing and satisfying, ...which would you choose?


42. As a way in life, what is your purpose? ...do you really know? And if you don't know, how could you ever, except by "luck", choose a partner with whom to unite in an open, honest, intimate relationship which will serve your life's purpose?


43. Never, never compromise! How is this compatible with an OHI relationship and communication?







Loneliness and presumed "needs" are powerfully seductive enticements, but regardless of all such attractions, do not choose or let yourself be deceived by any person who does not want yo create and live in an open, honest, intimate relationship, ...for desirable individuals and the truth or yourself can easily be revealed and nourished through open, honest, intimate communication; ...and continuing this form of communication will instantly support, sustain, nurture, and strengthen both parties and the open, honest, intimate union created.

Friend or Foe? By Roger B. Cotting and Dr. Diane E. Mistler
Introduction by Jodi Marie Johnston

Introduction
Aloha All Live Journal Users!
This article is a set of points presented at the Forever Living Seminar in 2003 (note: I am not certain on the date and will update when I verify this). To begin the seminar we were presented with the questions listed in this article as being "givens" of an Open Honest Intimate (OHI)Relationship. This is the first of several posts on the subject of relationships. I will be posting the direct articles from www.foreverlivingonline.net to be the basis for all the examples I will be presenting from my own life to demonstrate these ideas in action. My plan is to go through each of these sixty-one ideas presented and discuss them in separate LJ posts to illustrate what they mean in everyday life. If you are interested in opening up a dialogue just choose a number and send me a message. Remember all of these points can be implemented in your own life, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Enjoy!


FRIEND OR FOE?

1. If you cannot be happy in your present relationship, you won't be happy in any other relationship!

2. Life does not reward you with loving relationships,...you reward yourself by living and loving them.

3. No relationship you are not ALWAYS willing to give up is ever worth having.

4. Be true to yourself and you will always be true in your relationship.

5. The individual you are genuinely attracted to in a personal relationship is exactly like you.

6. You seldom, if ever, see and know others as they are, only as you are.

7. You create ALL THINGS in your life as you desire.

8. All knowing is actually self-knowing.

9. All judgments keep you focused on yourself and destroy love.

10. You make all choices to serve yourself.

11. All judgments of another are abusive!

12. Is it ever fair to ask another person to do something for you which you are unwilling to do for yourself?

13. All opportunities, choices, and decisions are equal.

14. The universe unconditionally supports your having as you truly desire.

15. If you have free will, how can you be judged?...and if you do not have free will, how can you possibly be judged?

16. All events are you happening to yourself.

17. Love...or any expression of love must be unconditional ...or it is not love.

18. Judgments are limitations of the worst kind!

19. All limitations destroy love.

20. Love must be free of judgments ...in any form.

21. Without judgment ...ALL actions are loving.

22. Do not judge!

23. When judging ...your focus is upon yourself, but when you focus entirely upon another, you cannot judge.

24. By reacting to another's judgments, you make the judgments your own judgments.

25. You constantly blind yourself to your judgments ...and endlessly justify your judgments.

26. All things are good!

27. Love occurs without judgments ...or it isn't love.

28. I want those old lovin' feelings.

29. Would you give up the feelings of love to be love, offer love and have the benefits of love?

30. Being intimate and loving with everyone means creating an environment free of judgments.

31. If by being open and intimate you lose your partner, that partnership wasn't worth maintaining and nourishing.

32. By not being open, honest, and intimate, you will never trust ...and never have the life and relationship you desire.

33. Trust has nothing whatsoever to do with the other person, only with yourself.

34. Acceptance is a measure of your unacceptance.

35. Forgiveness is a measure of your unforgiveness, ...and the degree to which you must forgive someone indicates the extent to which you were offended ...and not forgiving.

36. Whenever you are tempted to forgive someone, look to yourself and your judgments, not to the other person.

37. Forgiveness is change!

38. By asking people to forgive you, you are asking them to judge you.

39. You only judge your own judgments.

40. Since you never judge an action, only the presumed consequences of an action, all judgments are presumptions.

41. The negative always governs in your life.

42. Learning and growing is actually a matter of lessening your self=created limitations FROM "all knowing".

43. All love is unconditional, without any limitations, or it isn't love.

44. Love only exists without judgments. Remove judgments...and what remains is love.

45. Free will can never be limited or destroyed.

46. You can choose the feelings you desire and always live them.

47. You cannot live the feelings you truly desire while judging and reacting.

48. Stress doesn't happen to you, you happen to stress.

49. My judgments are my stress!

50. Why ever would you want a relationship in which you cannot live your finest self?

51. There is nothing you can do in a relationship, or in life, which is not relative to self.

52. Selfishness is best described as "Attempting to get from others what you are not willing to give to yourself by offering that to others."

53. You only have what you truly give away.

54. What you have reveals what you have given.

55. "Give to others" does not mean that they must accept what you are offering, only that you offer it.

56. What you can expect from an open, honest, intimate relationship is what you're willing to put into it.

57. What you do in one area of your life ...you do in every area of your life.

58. If your judge individuals, events, and circumstances in one area of your life, you judge in every area ...including in your personal relationships.

59. Loneliness is worse that a devastating disease.

60. Your relationship is as you are.

61. Are your beliefs large enough to support the partner and companionship you desire?

http://sonofcitationmacine.com/
http://www.dianahacker.com/resdoc/p04_c08_o.html

These are two helpful sites to cite works.

also the library web page has a link on how to do MLA citation at
http://www.library.arizona.edu/search/reference/citation.html

Hope this helps with the research papers

What a weekend, and its just getting started! Jess and I went to the garden stores and bought a bunch of plants for our garden. Woot! It is finally looking like a decent yard to invite people to BBQ over the summer. Still we have alot of landscaping left to do. I wish I had taken before pictures. Right now we are about a third of the way in. Sara offered to help the week before I graduate and get the final touches done.

On top of all that, I started my Krav Maga classes! Wow, talking about kicking butt! (Mine in particular.) I was paired up with a kid who had to be half my age and half my weight. It was alot of fun and he really got some force behind those moves. I did take him off the mat a few times though. XD he is fine. This is going to be a great work out and martial art to master. I have the opportunity to take 9 classes a week if I want to kill myself. I plan to start with three a week, just to be kind to my body. It is an amazing cardio work out.

So gardening + chopping down bushes + krav maga + shopping = I is one tired little puppy. XD

I am in a mad dash to prep for graduation. My classes are going well expect for JPN which I will be getting a D in. Sigh. I plan to take it over again when I am in grad school. But the other classes I will be getting A's, woot. So as far as class is concerned I am all good. But my house! Eeep! I have 16 of my relatives coming in for the event which means this place has to be spotless! Not to mention my dad is going to be camping in my backyard in his RV with my step mom and two little siblings. This means I have spent the last couple days attacking the back yard with Jess trying to tame the weeds and the like. It is funny how alot of gardening means killing the plants you don't want and nuturing the ones you do.

Either way I am very sore today after spending about 7 hours yesterdays hacking down bushes, weeding wacking, weeding, sanding the wooded bench swing so I can paint it this weekend, and moving all the junk to one area in the side yard to decide what to do with it all.

i haven't even touched the front yard. Jess at least weed wacked it.

On the brighter side of things I talked to Paul who is now offically in Germany. That makes two of my friends who have moved abroad. Stephen is still enjoying Japan though he is having to take linear alegbra for some reason. Ick.
Paul just has to remember his German, he is so cute with an accent on his English. I talked to him and he had already found a bar not unlike his local hang out here, which made me laugh.

This weekened is going to be a rocking Library Wench Weekend, where the library wenches get together and chat about life and drink and eat, we are adding the Katherine Hepburn marthon into the mix and it should be alot of fun.
TTFN

I can't believe I am up. Yesterday was interesting. I went to class, but felt off all day. Matt lent me his rice maker so I could make bread (Cool huh? there is this receipe that makes bread in a rice maker, which I got from a Japanese anime, and damn that bread is so good) then we went for sushi. When I got back home, Jess's mom took me to look at the house she is thinking of buying and it is 4 blocks from our own house!

That means if we get married I have a baby sitter nearby. LOL> XD. (Personally I refuse to have a kid before I finish school and prefer to have a baby in wedlock. Also I told Jess, if this does happen, I am only getting pregnant once due to health issues. If we want more kids we can adopt. Hell, kids are so not what I want at this moment in time, but maybe in the future. It is just funny to think that far ahead.)

Afterwards I came home, watched a movie with Jess. It was called the Watcher in the Woods and was produced by Disney when I was a little girl. It made me laugh and was still a bit creepy like I remembered. Still watching the movie again and remembering how much I loved it when I was a little girl was kinda cool.

After that, I felt all crampy and passed out around 7pm. I just woke up at 3:33am (Wit's normal bewitching hour) and I am wide awake. I saw that Paul sent me a text and I texted him back appoligizing for missing the call. Funny how the moment I woke up I had a feeling either Wit or Paul had tried to contact me while I was passed out.

Now I think I am going to work on my story. Jess is passed out and I am awake. It is a real change. XP
TTFN

News today, I realized that Jim Butcher actually responded to my LJ comments and to top it all off his latest article on writing was inspired by the question I posed to him on 'organizing all his ideas when writing a book'.

Needless to stay I was bouncing off the walls as I read the post. As a struggling writer, it is amazing to see someone so successful, write to inspire others and then to respond to them! Wow! The fact that he is willing to do so is still so cool! Jim you are always an inspiration. Thanks!

That said, back to the task at hand...writing my own book. XD

Hey I stumbled onto this website. They have awesome clothes to rival hot topic!

http://fuckthemainstream.com

Well my muse has struck after a stirring, emotionally charged night. Last night I went to Paul's going away party. He is heading back to Germany, and I will miss the Asshole. The night was filled with drinking, dancing and chatting it up. The internal drama was played out with the emotional outpouring of my partner in crime. Paul bid us fare well and the two of us left for the car. Needless to say, Tucson has become a little more dark and ominious since the last time I walked the dark streets. We were worried we were being followed. (Insert action filled running sequence to car) followed by emotional realse by said friend, man she needed it. I ended up giving her a massage, Reiki, and crystal therapy before putting her drunk butt to bed. Even as I type right now she is nursing an OJ drink and laying down on the bench inside the restraunt.

But drama and excitement aside.

Thanks to Jim Butcher's wonderful articles on writing, I have started up again.

"the first draft you write with your heart, the second with your head" -finding Forester

Well I had a first draft and it wasn't working for me so after reading the articles, I sat down and started to use my head. I am currently working through the scene-sequel-scene set up suggested and would you believe it, this stuff really really works!!!!!

Wow, I am glad my muse is back and kicking. I look forward to lots of sleepless nights and I finally get this thing a rolling.

Horray for drama and inspiration and the people who know how to guide such things to create something new and an offering to the world.

TTFN

Now that I am about to graduate I have been thinking about what I want to do with my summer before I go to grad school. The most recent idea I had was to take a class in Krav Maga. This is a close combat martial that deals with disarming guns, knives, and general attack. After Jess got stabbed I wanted to retake some form of martial art. Originally I took classes in Judo and Kenpo which were fun but if I am going to get jumped on the street by a gang member I need something a little more agressive and I am not about to carry a gun full time. that is ridiculous and expensive. I am going to take the concealed carry class because I like knowing how to use a gun and all without the need to actually buy one.

I have just email the two local dojos that teach Krav Maga but I was wondering if any of my LJ friends had any info on the subject. Thanks all.

TTFN